brian-k:

armywidow:

a liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.”How old is this rock, pinhead?”The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.””Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.Semper Fi.p.s. close the bordersp.p.s. That ex-SEAL was EINSTEIN.SHARE THIS IF YOU LOVE FREEDOM.

Lik dis if you cry EVERYTIM

ALWAYS FORGET, NEVER REMEMBER

brian-k:

armywidow:

a liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders
p.p.s. That ex-SEAL was EINSTEIN.

SHARE THIS IF YOU LOVE FREEDOM.

Lik dis if you cry EVERYTIM

ALWAYS FORGET, NEVER REMEMBER

KANSAS, MOTHERFUCKER.
YOU’RE NOT IN IT.

KANSAS, MOTHERFUCKER.

YOU’RE NOT IN IT.

(via wilwheaton)

“I’M RELEVANT.” - Jamie Oliver

At work, watching Jamie Oliver on the CNN.

He must get SO excited when people call him, requesting his two cents.

SQUINT HARDER, YOU HUGE GING.

stoicsilence:

to all you people who think drawing fanart is fine

you know who else drew fanart 

hitler

think about that the next time you draw fanart

(via drownedgoldfish)

eddymorino:


This update was fucking priceless.

TT: He used his connections and guile to wriggle into the spotlight, and then on to other positions of power. TT: He somehow landed on the U.S. Supreme Court. Over the years, other justices started mysteriously disappearing without being replaced. TT: After helping rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, he weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Chaplain of Interstellar War. TT: I’m just gonna cut to the chase, cause really this ain’t a big history lesson here. TT: He eventually came to be regarded as the third and final Antichrist. TT: No other human in history was responsible for more death and suffering.

I DIED.
I JUST SHIT MYSELF AND DIED.
OH GOD HOMESTUCK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

eddymorino:

This update was fucking priceless.

TT: He used his connections and guile to wriggle into the spotlight, and then on to other positions of power. 
TT: He somehow landed on the U.S. Supreme Court. Over the years, other justices started mysteriously disappearing without being replaced. 
TT: After helping rewrite the constitution to form an incomprehensible patchwork of fascism, theocratic mandates, recipes, and bad rap lyrics, he weaseled his way up the ranks to become the High Chaplain of Interstellar War. 
TT: I’m just gonna cut to the chase, cause really this ain’t a big history lesson here. 
TT: He eventually came to be regarded as the third and final Antichrist. 
TT: No other human in history was responsible for more death and suffering.


I DIED.

I JUST SHIT MYSELF AND DIED.

OH GOD HOMESTUCK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

thekingshandjob:

My pie is vital, my crust is cold

thekingshandjob:

My pie is vital, my crust is cold

I DIED.

I DIED.

Oh, that's just lovely. Perhaps I can pass along to you the ways of graffiti, tea and failure?

twitter.com/MissGraffiti

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